Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts

January 29, 2010

July 20, 2009

November 2, 2008

Dispatches From a Madhouse

It's been a wee bit crazy around here, with no end in sight, but I'm making the commitment to blog at least once a week. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my bloodshot eye.
I found a real live Dia de Los Muertos skull at the flea market, and I love her, especially her Frida hair. Frida will most definitely not be going to the attic with the other Halloween decorations. She's here to stay.


Not just any Horror Teeth. These are from Hollywood.


My wittle wadybug.



Osage graves in Pawhuska, Oklahoma.



I don't have many after death wishes, but if a headstone is purchased for me, I think it needs a lift up photo door. Preferably containing this picture.


A crazy, crafty mess.


Know what I went and did? I decided to take Sweetheartville to the next level, and signed up to do my very first craft show. On December 6th, I'll be shilling my wares in Oklahoma City at the first annual Deluxe Indie Craft Bazaar. I've got lots of new items in the works that I'll be revealing soon. I'm so excited, but a little overwhelmed with all there is to be done. Besides crafting up an inventory, there are tables, tablecloths, packaging, displays, promotional items, signage, oh, and that whole Etsy shop thing. I've just listed new vintage craft supplies, including these super cute pillow/plush printed panels.



So hop over there and start your holiday shopping already.

July 10, 2008

Nylon Net Novelties

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, "Nylon Net Novelties".



I think several of these sweet little trees would be pretty done in pink and silver clustered together to make a little Fairyland Forest on a table or mantle.


For "party-time fun", a Pink Elephant centerpiece is sure to please your friends. Those drunks. And who doesn't love a Candy Clown?


What bride-to-be wouldn't be totally creeped out thrilled to find this delightful centerpiece gracing the table at her bridal shower luncheon?


Oh the cuteness of these baby shower centerpieces is making my eyes water, especially that little baby buggy!


Storks are a popular option, if you're in denial about where babies come from.


I think this soap fish is awesome, and you know I'm loving that peacock.


If Fairyland Trees aren't your Christmas cup of tea, then maybe this Santa could find a home with you.


Next Easter, why not have this charming little fellow greet your family and friends at the door. They're sure to ooh and aah. That is, if they don't run away screaming in horror first.



In my extensive scholarly research on Postwar America, one fact has become increasingly clear. People loved them some poodles.


This next pattern may be unsuitable for some readers. Parental discretion is advised. You might want to ask young children to leave the room. Perhaps they can entertain themselves by playing chef with the "ingredients" under the kitchen sink so Mama can have one damn minute to herself to write a blog post! Is that too much to ask!!??! Now, where were we. Oh yes, I was just about to show you this REALLY SCARY NET MONKEY!


All these patterns have been added to my Vintage Crafts Set over at Flickr.

*Edit* I was just about to wrap up this post, when I thought to myself, "Something about that baby bassinet decoration seems familiar...hmmm...where have I seen it before?" Then it occurred to me that Mary at My House Is Cuter Than Yours made something similar. So, after much searching I found it, and darn if she didn't blog about the same craft booklet and make that exact baby shower centerpiece! (Scroll on down. It's there.) How cute!
What a small, crafty, vintagey blog world we're living in, Dollfaces, and I just love it. Hopefully, I'll be spending a whole lot more time in it now that I'm wireless, coming to you live from the brand new laptop of my dreams. It's Ruby Red, slick as a button, and it's all mine, thanks to my sweetheart. Thank you, Sweetie.

March 6, 2008

A New Monkey For Every Outfit

Here's a vintage advertisement for a fabulous product that was a genius idea:


And this ad from the same magazine?

Not so much.

August 19, 2007

New Stories For Men

Today I thought my male readers would enjoy a break from the usual estrogen-soaked tittle-tattle about babies, home decorating, aprons and beauty products, so here's one for the boys...er, men. And I mean that. Those with delicate constitutions should look away. These are New Stories For MEN.


Ah, the classic I, The Jury, by Mickey Spillane. It's sensational!


Mickey's next book is even more SENSATIONAL! His gun is quick.
Don't worry Mickey, it happens to lots of guys.


"Her name? Marigold Tate. Her Offense? Too attractive. Her punishment? A flogging by the Knights of the Red Circle. Her revenge? Plenty...and she used her good looks to get it. Maybe she had a 'different' moral code, but she showed up the hypocrites who scorned her by day and wanted her by night."

This one's really risque. Definitely for men only. I have no idea what's going on on this cover. A gentleman, perhaps "the sexpert", appears to be sculpting some sort of modern art with a blowtorch while a very flexible young lady looks on, adoringly.


Maybe the back cover can clear some of this up for us.


Eeeww. More like, "Penicillin Unlimited!" Although, I do like the idea that she's a "delectable dreamboat", as well as a "brilliant superscientist". I'm going to take a shower now.

June 28, 2007

Going Bandanas

You might think my tastes here at Sweetheartville run exclusively pre 1970, that I have no appreciation for the wonderful fashions, crafts and popular culture of more recent decades. Well, Dollfaces, that's where you'd be wrong. Take, for example, this terrific little craft booklet I happened upon at the thrift store a few months back. I'm absolutely crazy, ga ga, over the moon for it. You might even go so far as to say I'm GOING BANDANAS!


Need to whip up a lil' something special for that hot two-steppin' date on Saturday night? No problem. Just get yourself a T-shirt, a few bandanas and enough fringe to choke a mule, and you've got the makings of an ensemble nice enough for the finest soiree! And don't think they've left out you outdoorsy types. The deer will never see this lil' lady coming! Never mind that they'll most certainly hear the plastic tinkling of all the pony beaded fringe and sniff the cloud of White Rain and Exclamation! surrounding her. A girl's gotta look good, even when she's hunting.


Ah, the classic Fringed Bib. These come in quite handy on those humid mornings when your bangs just won't feather right, despite your best efforts. Simply tie one on and everyone will be too busy admiring your accessorizing prowess to notice that your hair's a little flat.


Here's one the whole family can get in on, assuming little Becky isn't going to break her mother's heart again by refusing to wear the Toddler Bandana Top Mommy worked so hard to make. Right, Becky? Smile, Becky. You don't want to have to get in the closet under the stairs again, do you, Becky? Smile big like your sister.


Next up are those Fringed Bibs again, this time making an appearance as aprons used to cover a bathing suit. Pair one with a homemade halter top and you'll be the chicest torso on the beach! Could the makers of this little book get any more creative? I think not.


I call this pose the "Whatever! Whatever! I know I look good! You know you want this! You just jealous! Whatever!"--perfect for Maury Povich paternity test show appearances. Everyone will wish they were your Baby's Daddy when they get a load of you in one of these fun skirts!


Brandy: "Tiff?"
Tiffany: "Yeah?"
Brandy: "I just farted!"
Tiffany: "Oh, Brandy! Like, gag me with a spoon!"


If any of you would like to "go bandanas", email me and I'll be happy to send you a scan of the directions for any of these clever projects. All joking aside, a couple of those skirts have the potential to be wearable, minus the fringe, beads and conchos, of course. Here's a more modern take on the bandana top from the girls of Styleicious.